My ears burn and my eyes smart when I hear/read the prefix 'happy' for the year ahead, festivals,the quintessential birthday and to top it there is even a TV advertisement that wishes women a 'Happy Period'!!
Aren't we stretching the prefix a tad too far?? Are we lost for words, adjectives
and synonyms to describe a greeting? Is the festival,the year, the birthday happy coz
some of us have received wishes?
Two issues, no actually three here:
One: Does the wish of one person have an affect on the others' happiness quotient?
Two: Is the wish itself pragmatic ? As in is it possible to have an entire year of happiness ,with no dips at all?
Three: Ah , the most important - can one wish for happiness from the environment? Is happiness not oblivious of the environment? To be happy is a choice one makes for himself/herself irrespective of the circumstances , so does wishing each other
really help? Aren't we trivialising happiness when we prefix it ?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Sunday, September 26, 2010
parenting
I feel so sad for the children of the current generation as well as their parents.Parenting is badly misunderstood , interpreted by many enthusiastic parents to mean to push the child to discipline, academic, sports, extracurricular activities and of course'life skills' or personality development.They actually live with the notion that this is their task or job little realizing that have got it so wrong.
If at all any 'task' that parents have, is to guide the child towards a life of independence, autonomy, to uncover the innate potential and interests in the child . As one generation gives way to the next , a new set of skills is required for the new, rapidly changing world.Old ways have to give way to the new.What is needed, is to build abilities and confidence so that the child learns the new ways,
is capable of surviving and succeeding long after the parents are gone.
If at all any 'task' that parents have, is to guide the child towards a life of independence, autonomy, to uncover the innate potential and interests in the child . As one generation gives way to the next , a new set of skills is required for the new, rapidly changing world.Old ways have to give way to the new.What is needed, is to build abilities and confidence so that the child learns the new ways,
is capable of surviving and succeeding long after the parents are gone.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Originality
Many of us profess to be 'original', as in have our own take, interpretation of everything around us.I am not sure it is true. We are , unconsciously, storing so many ideas , images around us and operating from them.
I was watching a program which was sharing the reasearch findings of a psychology test which showed that most people follow trends, what the other people are doing and tend to do the same.After all, our conditioning, parenting, socialising is all about following the society norms , blending in ,and in doing so gaining approval and acceptance of the rest.
Even when we are rebelling we are operating out of a script written by others, of playing the contrarian!!makes me feel helpless and powerless in a way . Who is the real me ? None at all.and then does there have to be a 'me' ...aren't we all one , not in a philosophical way but in that we are one body of similar thinking beings.
I was watching a program which was sharing the reasearch findings of a psychology test which showed that most people follow trends, what the other people are doing and tend to do the same.After all, our conditioning, parenting, socialising is all about following the society norms , blending in ,and in doing so gaining approval and acceptance of the rest.
Even when we are rebelling we are operating out of a script written by others, of playing the contrarian!!makes me feel helpless and powerless in a way . Who is the real me ? None at all.and then does there have to be a 'me' ...aren't we all one , not in a philosophical way but in that we are one body of similar thinking beings.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Fear
Fear is the motivation for many of us.We operate out of fear, make friends for fear of being lonely, strive in jobs we detest out of fear of losing our livelihood ,unabashedly lie to each other for fear of dispproval etc. etc.
We also fear new places, new interactions, new people and prefer to stay in the comfort zone, not taking any risks. We fear change,new routines,death,public speaking,exams , exam results, darkness ...an endless list really.
If we examine 'fear' , it is not out there, not with the new places,people,jobs, routines but within ourselves . Fear is our inability to deal with the unexpected , unknown,new,different. Fear is the imagined difference between reality and our perception. If we could suspend our judgement about what should be out there or what we should be out there,trust ourselves to just be in any situation,go with the flow, fear would disappear.
Fear too , stems from our perception, may be far from reality. It is in our hands, literally, to contain it.It does not exist out there, it is created by us, from our inabilities.
We also fear new places, new interactions, new people and prefer to stay in the comfort zone, not taking any risks. We fear change,new routines,death,public speaking,exams , exam results, darkness ...an endless list really.
If we examine 'fear' , it is not out there, not with the new places,people,jobs, routines but within ourselves . Fear is our inability to deal with the unexpected , unknown,new,different. Fear is the imagined difference between reality and our perception. If we could suspend our judgement about what should be out there or what we should be out there,trust ourselves to just be in any situation,go with the flow, fear would disappear.
Fear too , stems from our perception, may be far from reality. It is in our hands, literally, to contain it.It does not exist out there, it is created by us, from our inabilities.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
detachment
Detachment,a form of letting go, is key to happiness, equanimity and survival. Detachment from problems comes from an understanding that you are more than your problems, detachment from outcomes- because all that is in your control is your effort.Controlling what is not in your purview is foolish, madness.
What I cannot control, have any influence on , I must let go, and happily at that.
A simple yet powerful idea , if implemented in its truest sense , can lead to emancipation, freedom.
And pray what can we control?, the rising prices,pollution,ethics of the society, people around you, your boss? You may not be controlling them but secretly wishing they may change for the better. Can you?
Awareness of the dynamics followed by action/intervention only where you can make a difference is the key to liberation.Otherwise be inactive, passive and detached.
If you cannot control all of the above, what do you do? There is one person over whom you have the ultimate and complete 24/7 power, and that fortunate person is you!All that you want to do to others,to your circumstances and to your environment , do it to you.
"Be the change you want the world to be"- MK Gandhi
What I cannot control, have any influence on , I must let go, and happily at that.
A simple yet powerful idea , if implemented in its truest sense , can lead to emancipation, freedom.
And pray what can we control?, the rising prices,pollution,ethics of the society, people around you, your boss? You may not be controlling them but secretly wishing they may change for the better. Can you?
Awareness of the dynamics followed by action/intervention only where you can make a difference is the key to liberation.Otherwise be inactive, passive and detached.
If you cannot control all of the above, what do you do? There is one person over whom you have the ultimate and complete 24/7 power, and that fortunate person is you!All that you want to do to others,to your circumstances and to your environment , do it to you.
"Be the change you want the world to be"- MK Gandhi
Friday, June 11, 2010
on truth
Then there is this oft repeated subject called 'Truth',somewhat maligned spiritually and philosophically. Seek truth they say. What does the word mean?
It means getting to the facts, being objective , not letting your perceptions and baggage cloud your interpretation.
There is nothing that we 'see' as is.Our senses pick the stimulus and our brain processes it. In doing so the information passes through various conscious and unconscious filters of our mind. The end result may be a case of 'chinese whispers', quite distorted from the original,the fact.
We get closer to the 'Truth' when we suspend our judgment, when we are open to another perspective, when our minds are in a receptive mode.
Most other times we are in delusion,We see, hear, taste, feel what we want to see, hear etc.We are simply validating our beliefs by distorting the truth around us to suit us, to feel comfortable.Truth is uncomfortable, we hide from it, run away from it, shut our eyes to it.Yet we all claim to be seekers of truth!
The biggest lie we tell is when we lie to ourselves, when we are not congruent, when we think one thought, say another and act still another.What are we afraid of? Others?The truth we have to live is with ourselves, not outside.Others may not know it, but we know when we lie. And we fall in our own eyes!
It means getting to the facts, being objective , not letting your perceptions and baggage cloud your interpretation.
There is nothing that we 'see' as is.Our senses pick the stimulus and our brain processes it. In doing so the information passes through various conscious and unconscious filters of our mind. The end result may be a case of 'chinese whispers', quite distorted from the original,the fact.
We get closer to the 'Truth' when we suspend our judgment, when we are open to another perspective, when our minds are in a receptive mode.
Most other times we are in delusion,We see, hear, taste, feel what we want to see, hear etc.We are simply validating our beliefs by distorting the truth around us to suit us, to feel comfortable.Truth is uncomfortable, we hide from it, run away from it, shut our eyes to it.Yet we all claim to be seekers of truth!
The biggest lie we tell is when we lie to ourselves, when we are not congruent, when we think one thought, say another and act still another.What are we afraid of? Others?The truth we have to live is with ourselves, not outside.Others may not know it, but we know when we lie. And we fall in our own eyes!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
silent
I know that I talk,discuss,write,learn,teach, share those aspects of my life that are not yet sorted out,in which I lack clarity and understanding.
On those issues where I have achieved some grasp, I fall silent. I do not feel the need to speak, to share , to tell.
I also realize that I analyze certain issues,experiences where I do not need to. They are just meant to be observed, not commented upon, not dissected under a microscope. In doing so, the moment is lost , I am not in the 'now', I label and lose its soul, make it into an entity.
The deepest feelings and experiences cannot be described at all, words fail. In that trance like moment, I lose myself to the experience , I am in it and it is in me...rare , yet these moments happen, specially when I am outdoors, close to nature.
Thoughts cease, awareness of self ceases and a feeling of oneness,complete and total takes over.
I fall silent.
On those issues where I have achieved some grasp, I fall silent. I do not feel the need to speak, to share , to tell.
I also realize that I analyze certain issues,experiences where I do not need to. They are just meant to be observed, not commented upon, not dissected under a microscope. In doing so, the moment is lost , I am not in the 'now', I label and lose its soul, make it into an entity.
The deepest feelings and experiences cannot be described at all, words fail. In that trance like moment, I lose myself to the experience , I am in it and it is in me...rare , yet these moments happen, specially when I am outdoors, close to nature.
Thoughts cease, awareness of self ceases and a feeling of oneness,complete and total takes over.
I fall silent.
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