Monday, April 26, 2010


'A mighty tree cracks in a storm and the humble blade of grass stands untouched'...a simple insight into how to manage the rumble and tumble of life's offerings.
Many a times we find ourselves getting stuck, rigid in our view point, ideologies and strategies as we go through Life. We get fixed in our roles , in our routines and set in our ways. We do not even realise we have become this way .
It hits us only when we find ourselves in deep conflict with our surroundings, unable to cope, in a state of disharmony and restlessness.
At such a juncture,if we introspect, we will find that some of our ideologies have become rusted, too old , and need to be discarded.New ways to adapt to the dynamic environment need to emerge.
We become parents when we give birth,yet parenting itself undergoes a major change through the growing years of the child. If we get stuck in a certain phase, we can cause more harm than good...same applies to being a child to your parents ..the role reverses in the old age of our parents .With the spouse too , you take on many roles ...father, son, brother, friend, lover...continue taking cues from Life and continously adapt ...

Sunday, April 25, 2010


'Within' is an oft used word ...specially in the philosophical/spiritual context....everything is within you , they say.
What does the word mean? ...that what you see in the 'out there/outside',is your perception of the world from your point of view.It infers:the 'outside' is a perception and that if you want to change the world around you , you need to examine how you perceive it,your thinking.You do not have to change the physical, the tangible around you to make this happen.
It also means that the way you perceive the outside is not the way the rest of the world does...and that is huge ...that is the crux of our differences.
If you want better relationships and harmony with your environment, be aware of your perceptions; which in turn stem from your thinking process.Make an effort to understand where the other is coming from.Even the color 'red' we see is different from the way others 'see' it.
They say'The outside is a reflection of the inside' and vice versa also holds true.You carry your world with you, literally!

Monday, April 19, 2010


Life is a work-in-progress, a continous cycle in which we as passengers, get on and off.Life is a process , not an end result or a product.
In this context , if I were to review the 'goal setting process', I would say that goals will fit this ultra dynamic, everchanging cosmos if we apply them to the process rather than to the final result.
You have to earn a living ,define how you will do that and in doing that do not get so caught up, that earning rather than living becomes the goal!
Did the founders of Google and Facebook make their discoveries by defining the end result?You may define a problem and look for alternatives to solve it , in which case a clear goal is in mind.That is a linear way of reaching results.
Most new ideas, inventions or innovations focus on the 'now',the current need,the dynamics of the environment and a lateral solution,a never 'thought of before'path opens up.
Setting a clear defined goal becomes an impediment as you are working from the limitations and opportunities of the current situation.New possibilities will emerge when you move out of this 'limiting' mind set.
Results are a corollary of effort and so should be goals ...a corollary of living.


I recently read a writing in which 'rich' was used as a four letter word , replete with the divide it creates in society, linking it to the recent Maoist rebellion etc.
What does the word 'rich' mean? Is it an absolute ? Is it only related to materialistic acquisitions? Actually , No.
Quite the in, 'rich' is a state of mind , an attitude .A beggar could feel rich with assurance of all meals , a roof over his head for the rest of his life;yet another could feel poor having all of these.
'Richness' is a state of abundance , a belief that there is enough and more for everybody...has no corelation with absolutes, is directly corelated to your own belief system, your needs , essentially with how you perceive the world and your faith in yourself.
An apt quote on this one 'He is not rich who has plenty but the one whose needs are few'....our greed and wants make us poor , otherwise there really is enough !!

Saturday, April 17, 2010


Whenever I am perplexed and feeling bogged down , I turn to nature for insights, inspiration, solutions and invariably find them.
In this so called civilized world,we homo sapiens, have lost touch with our instinct, our natural lies buried under layers of conditioning and influences from outside...makes you lose touch with the basics, the most important, the core, and blunts the innate instincts.
Look at how nature handles death, change,diversity,loss....does not get mired in any of the above is a part of its,well nature/DNA!!
The behaviour of animals- is instinctive, the bond between the mother-child - with a specific purpose to nurture and then let go; the rythm of the seasons and day/night ...the continous beginnings and endings, one season seamlessly makes way for the other ...the plant nourishes its seeds, then perishes and in doing so does not question the motive...countless such insights for us to observe and internalise to understand life.
The closer we move to our basic instinct, the simpler, easier our lives will be and happier too.

Thursday, April 15, 2010


An oft misused word-'communication' coz we make so many assumptions that give us the impression that communication has taken place when it has not!!
We go by words whereas words , according to experts, form only 7% of the communication gambit , rest constitutes nonverbal and the 'tone of voice' ...pointing to the fact that go by the rest and not words alone , catch the underlying feelings , catch what is not being said , what is being deliberately avoided e.g. a mundane answer to a mundane question like 'How are you today?' can reveal a lot even when the answer is 'Am ok' ...its a lot easier when you can observe the body language , yet you can do this deciphering even on the phone if you observe the 'tone of the voice'.
In an ordinary conversation as well , pick up cues on the feeling/emotion of the sender and try to connect with it ..the emotion . You will be surprised how quickly you can establish connections and develop deep relations by doing so.

Sunday, April 11, 2010


The other day somebody made a relevant comment that you handle a terminal disease like cancer just as you would handle any other challenge in your life ...and there could not be a more accurate insight to one's personality.
How do you handle a challenge? Do you give in, find an easy escape in a fatalistic attitude ...'this is my destiny' or do do you meet the challenge head on,with clarity of the outcome you desire and set your intent towards action aimed at getting to your goal?
In doing so , you realise your potential, you gain confidence and even if you do not succeed fully , you know you made a sincere effort..the only thing in your control.You relenquish the angst which goes with not achieving the desirable goal as you are at peace with yourself having given your best shot leaves you sans guilt,anger or frustration and helps you to seamlessly move forward. You have truly implemented the 'serenity prayer' ...'God give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Friday, April 9, 2010


Till recently, I thought 'incompatible' was bad /wrong in a relation....if you are incompatible , you cannot make the realtionship work.
It isn't really.Look into your most successful realtionships, are the two of you totally compatible ?? maybe not , on the contrary, chances are that the two of you are not.What makes the difference is what you do with the differences!!
You accept them , love them , sometimes convert them into positives for the relation by complementing each other. You don't judge the person for way he/she does things differently become aware of the differences and work around them may have already done that if you notice your 'easy/happy ' relations.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


I have a confession to make . I do not have an ambition. I say that coz my belief system says the minute you have an ambition , you are focussing on the 'end' and the journey takes a back seat.
And what happens when the journey is not the focus, only the end are in a hurry to get there ....where to? ...the end , of course. You are not in the 'now' , you are concerened about the road, the vehicle , the milestones , the implicit comparison between achievement and the goal etc. etc.
A perfect recipe to get anxious,suffer heartburn and, even when you get there , you will not be there coz , now a new ambition surfaces. I know this sounds cliched ....'stop n smell the roses' types. The point is that there is really nothing to aim outside of yourself. I gather experiences, add to my learning, enjoy my relationships, sit back and do the things that I find satisfaction in , am in tune with my body, in equal awe of nature, beauty and science and am slow ....slow ...watching life go by , both as an observor and as a particpant

Tuesday, April 6, 2010


I recently read Salinger's 'Catcher in the rye',was spell bound.The one word from that book that stuck me was 'phoney' ...and I see that 'phoney ness' all around me ...'put ons' ....becoming or trying to become what they are not ....a malaise whose roots are so deep that the 'actors' are engrossed in their make belief parts that they forget the very purpose of their acting!!
It is so refreshing to meet that rare soul which is truly an original, one of its kind , comfortable in the body that it is residing, free to think and express itself, not looking for approval.
Are we even aware of what 'conditioning' does to us?the influence of our parents, teachers, peer group, siblings, media ..the list is endless.What we call the 'I' or 'me' is infact an outcome/product of all of the above.
We can make a start , slowly peeling the layers of the onion, painful, ardous process till we reach the core ...the 'Who am I?'and then we can start the next step...'Who do I want to be?'